Did you deposit money in your emotional bank account?
Do you have a bank account? Do you deposit and withdraw funds from the account regularly? Similarly, all of us have something called as Emotional Bank Account. For some, the EBA (Emotional Bank Account) is full, for some empty. It varies based on what actions they perform.
The EBA is filled by other people as well as by self.
If your emotional account is close to empty, you will feel dejected, tired, frustrated, angry and many such negative emotions will be ruling you. You will not be having control over your life, rather your emotions will be ruling your life.
If your emotional account is full or close to full, you will feel happy, satisfied, excited, “life is happening in the now” kind of feeling. As you would have read and learnt from my videos and other blogs- life is all about the journey, in order for us to make it practical we need to focus on the EBA. You need to ensure that your account is full almost all the times.
Now like a physical bank account you can also deposit or withdraw from your emotional bank account. When deposits are made, we feel energised, happy and excited. When withdrawn, we feel dejected, disappointed, sad, etc.
The objective for us now is to add more to our emotional bank account as well as to the account of our family members, office colleagues, subordinates, etc.
To make deposits to a emotional bank account:
Being honest and open in your communication adds to your EBA. Managers have a tendency to hide information. They believe that information is power and the more they have with themselves they have more power. This usually sends wrong signal to the team. They don’t feel the trust and that leads to withdrawal. Being open about the growth plan, team strategy, individual career plan , this will add a lot of deposits to EBA.
How to apply: Managers should take time every day, few minutes per employee. Also at least one team meeting every week to discuss, share and enrol the employees to the company and team goals. This will ensure that the team is emotionally charged up. There might be initial hiccups but in the long run it will be a win-win.
Keeping Commitments :
Your actions should be a reflection of your words. As leaders and managers you are a role model for your team. When you say you are going to gift them for coming on time and you do that, they will have huge deposits in their EBA. But when we miss recognising or sharing the gift, they feel demotivated and not valued.
How to apply: Only commit to things which you believe that you will be able to complete.
By supporting a new kid on the block by helping him settle on the job will make him really comfortable and valued. When one employee is getting delayed every day at office, sitting and analysing with him the cause of delay and also ensuring you support in strategising along with him to succeed in leaving early will be a huge morale booster for the employee. This will add a lot to his EBA. On the other hand, the employee asks you for help, he says he is leaving late everyday and asks you for an option. You either ignore him or advise him- “that’s the way the work is, either you take it leave it” will be a big withdrawal in his account.
How to apply: Be ready to do your bit in helping your employees. Be open and frank in areas you can be of help. Sometimes the feeling that someone is open to listening to my issues itself serves as a positive and is considered supportive.
This is a easy and beautiful way to add deposits to the employee account. How often do you appreciate them? Do you wait for big accomplishments to be completed to give appreciation? Make appreciation the culture of your team, teams should be in the habit of appreciating each other’s efforts openly and often. This elevates the motivation of the team and they will work together to accomplish the team objectives. When an employee expects to be appreciated and doesn’t get it, he feels demotivated (withdrawal), won’t have a sense of belonging and wouldn’t want to prove his skills as there are no rewards for it.
How to apply: Set up a culture in your team. Set a personal goal of how many appreciations you will pass on each day. Encourage your team also to do it and use meetings as an opportunity to do it.
Be it family or office it is not about the time you spend, it is about the quality time you spend. It is important that each day, yes, each day as a manager you spend quality time with each of your employees. If the team size is really big then the least is each week. What is quality time? Undivided attention which you give to your employees, listening to hear, making them feel you are there to support them. These are ways to make the time spent very qualitative. This will add to the bank account. Not spending time, or always being preoccupied, doing multiple tasks and talking with them all makes them feel disappointed and frustrated (withdrawal).
How to apply: Allocate a schedule with each member in your team and spend qualitative time.
Apologise: In case you have not done the right things and that has led to a negative emotional impact for someone- the best thing to do is to accept your mistakes and apologise for your mistakes.
Ganesh Kumar S
EQ Ignitor | Emotional Intelligence Trainer | Entrepreneur | Life Coach | Author
Excellent sir. hereafter i try to follow EBA.. thanks
Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article.
Thanks for providing this info.